I would like to share with you now an experience that at the time was indeed a sorrow but how the Lord supported my husband Roger and myself and as you will see, there was a happy outcome.
Roger and I had been married for two years and we were living in a small village on the Isle of Wight. We were looking forward to the birth of our first baby which was due in December 1977.
A routine check at the end of November revealed that our baby had a condition called anencephaly which is not compatible with life, and it was decided that I should be kept in ignorance of this so that I could go through a normal delivery.
On December 1 our baby was born and immediately removed from me. I was told that it was stillborn and was in complete shock. I never did see our baby and I felt that my presence at the hospital embarrassed the medical staff as people did not know what to say to me. As a result Roger and I were alone with no support.
The loneliness continued, my parents were also grieving and could not support me. Our village church was very supportive but on Christmas day I just broke down in tears and found life very difficult to cope with. My teaching post had been temporary and with children with special needs. I felt that I could not return to that particular area of specialisation and as a result remained at home.
In April a friend who lived in North Wales invited Roger and I to go and stay for a long weekend. Just before we returned home we spent the day walking on Snowdon. I remember looking up at the mountain and watching the mist clear. It was then that I had a powerful feeling of being at peace and being held and I somehow knew that I had been in the presence of the Lord.
A few days after our break the headmaster in our village school asked me if I could work in the reception class for two terms. By June I was pregnant again but this time I was seen by a consultant on every visit. An amniocentesis in August revealed that we were expecting a baby boy. He was born on the 5th March in the same hospital as our first baby but this time delivered by our new next door neighbour, an obstetric night nurse. So it was just Adrian, Roger and I and Sister Knight and of course the Lord.
Thanks be to God.