I grew up as a member of a church but when I was 12 and 13 I struggled with everything to do with God, mainly being loved and the fact that God could love me. I started to behave in ways that I shouldn’t have and started to self-harm and had an eating disorder. It then came to the point where I tried to kill myself. In those days they didn’t really know what to do with young people that tried to kill themselves so the church decided to send me to a monastery. I was based in a Franciscan Monastery, Hilfield Friary in Dorest. Whilst there I was trying to understand that I was loved. I came to discover that God loved me and I left the monastery wanting to become ordained.